Phoenix Dawn Command – Journal Entry #10 – Idalia

October 20, 2016 Dungeon Master 3212 No Comments

**Editor’s Note: We will be featuring some character backstories & recaps from our Phoenix Dawn Command actual play series. Be sure to watch the adventure LIVE every Saturday night at 5p PT/8p ET on!**

by Tara Strand as Idalia, the Devoted.

It was my 2nd Crucible where my deeper lessons began. In it I found myself in a lovely village somewhere, and I soon discovered that no one could sense my presence. There were several groups of villagers whose lives I found myself guided around, and for what felt like weeks, maybe months, I got to simply observe them. I became familiar – and a fair bit attached – to their stories and their interactions, the ins and outs of their days, their dreams and goals, their hopes and fears… Then finally there would be a threat to anywhere from one to all of their lives, and I found I was able to intervene. The threat was always different, and so was the outcome. Sometimes I could save everyone, sometimes I could save no one, and all kinds of combinations in between. What I learned and what I experienced was different every time, and my Mentor – a floating being of almost total light whose androgynous shape I could barely make out through its glow – spoke directly into my mind words to help me process and master my experiences. Once I left that Crucible not only had I gotten to deal with a whole new slew of threats, but I’d managed to combine a healthier sense of detachment with my care and compassion.

My later Crucibles followed a similar thread, nuanced in ways to teach me lessons we’d come to find I needed after each death. And then there was my 5th. In it I was shown long term outcomes of so many of the situations in which I’d been able to intervene, both in my Crucibles and in the other reality. Terrifying and beautiful. I saw the interplay and balance between “good” and “bad”;  the constant swinging of the pendulum: joy-peace-suffering-peace-joy-peace-suffering, and on. I saw the effect of our perceptions, and the ever-peaceful face of The Dawn.
This higher appreciation of the co-existence between all forces could nearly cause me to forgive the existence of The Dread. But I also saw that the suffering they bring is wholly out of balance. The very existence of the Phoenixes is the other end of the pendulum. By the end of this there WILL be peace. There must.
Sidenote: I’ve also come to wonder if these Crucibles where I’ve been such an unknown force to those I champion is perhaps why direct interactions with some of our especially grateful groups of mortals at times leaves me a bit… heady. Ok, a completely full of myself, demanding, impetuous prima donna! Some instances more than others. Hm.
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